


Snake Room, or Snoom

by Jeslieness



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic?, wiggleverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24121681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeslieness/pseuds/Jeslieness
Summary: An addition to Quilly's "Snake Cottage". Moving in is difficult, particularly when Clematis isn't quite sure what he's looking for....
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 84
Collections: Wiggleverse





	Snake Room, or Snoom

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Snake Cottage, or Snottage,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21420358) by [Quilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quilly/pseuds/Quilly). 



> Credit where credit is due: Quilly's "Snake Cottage, or Snottage" inspired this, and I've opened with the relevant paragraph that kicked it off. Quilly and kemper_rose's discussion in the comments helped shape this thing in my brain until I had no choice but to give up and write it!

I want this one! _Junior hollered as he beelined for the nearest door, and the rest took off like a shot choosing rooms. There was a brief tussle over who got the room that had a patch of sunlight slanting across the bed currently, and some confusion when Clem nosed his way into the bathroom rather than a bedroom, but soon enough all five rooms were happily occupied._

_\--”Snake Cottage, or Snottage”, chapter 1, by Quilly_

Clematis loved his siblings, he did, but it was with relief that he spotted the door at the very end of the hallway and wiggled away from them, leaving Angelica and Junior arguing over the sunny room. (Junior said finders keepers, but Rosa said the room with the biggest bookshelf was hers, and that claim “superseded” dibs and finders keepers, and Angelica didn't even think you _could_ have finders keepers with a room—you could, said Junior—and Datura thought maybe all the bookshelves were the same size, so should they just draw tails?) He didn't want to get too far away from them, of course; just enough that he could have a _really_ good nap without someone tumbling into his thoughts. (None of them seemed to appreciate a good nap like he did. Azirafather said he took after Father that way, but Clem wasn't so sure he took after Father at all, no matter how he wanted to.)

They'd talked about their new home, of course. Rosa particularly liked to have them talk it over; what it would be like, where they'd have their fathers put the furniture, where would be their first place to play. Clem didn't say much during these talks. He liked to imagine a big garden full of plants for Father to shout at, and a nice garage for the Bentley, and a big cabinet full of cocoa for Azirafather. And windows, lots of windows, places where a young snake could have a nice sunny stretch on the carpet and some time to think about all the things he wanted to think about. He didn't need much beyond that, not like Angelica, who wanted a goldfish pond (it was the Done Thing, she said wisely, after she spent an afternoon asleep in an issue of “Better Homes and Gardens”) or Rosa, who wanted a tower, especially if it was covered in ivy. A cricket ground would be nice, maybe. Clem did like crickets.

So he nosed his way into his new room with a great deal of anticipation.

And.

Well.

His new room was very, very white, and that was okay—rather comforting, actually. He was much bigger now, and harder to lose, but it was still reassuring to think that he could sit on all of that white and be found right away. There was no bookshelf, and that was okay, too. There was a window that was very high up, and it did nothing to warm the room, which was...less okay, and Clem quickly slithered across the slippery floor onto the room's one rug and coiled up around himself, looking around. There was a funny-looking chair, one that looked too smooth for him to climb, and that was disappointing; Clem _did_ prefer to explore things for himself, but it wasn't all bad. He _would_ like to entertain visitors, and if the one chair encouraged them to space themselves out, so much the better. What was more interesting was the big glass box, which looked like it had some nice rough places that would help a shed, and maybe if they hung his heat lamp in there and piled up some cushions.... And a blanket. Definitely a blanket. This new room was—well, _cold,_ and Clem wouldn't say anything, of course, not when his fathers were so very proud of themselves, but he wasn't quite sure why they'd left the bookshop for this. He'd had a lovely shelf of philosophy right under the vent to sleep on back in London, and his own chair and shedding box hardly seemed worth all this fuss.

“Right, you lot,” Father was saying. “Everyone got a room now?”

There were a few more flurries of complaints; Datura wanted the bigger nightstand, Rosa was _sure_ Junior's bookshelf was a few centimetres bigger, Angelica wanted to go play. Clem made his way back to his fathers and wound his head affectionately around Azirafather's ankle.

“Hello, my boy,” said Azirafather, bending to pick him up. He draped Clem over his shoulders and Clem bumped Azirafather's ear with his snout as he settled. “What do you think?”

 _It's very nice,_ said Clem politely. _Very shiny._ He watched his fathers exchange a quick, confused look. _Can I have some of the extra cushions, Azirafather?_

“Of course you can, dear, but why?”

 _I like cushions,_ Clem hedged, which wasn't a lie, exactly, it was just that he liked cushions one at a time, so they couldn't shift under him or fall over on him and wake him up—and anyway, it was hard to heat more than one with the lamp.

He was saved, maybe, from explaining further when Angelica asked: _Why is Clem's room shiny, Father? My room isn't shiny._

 _I like shiny,_ said Junior, in a thoughtful tone that had Clem mentally reviewing the rules his siblings had been designing—had they decided about finders keepers? Not that he liked the room so very much he wouldn't consider trading, he simply wanted the whole thing decided so he could have his basket and everyone could be quieter, and if everyone wanted the shiny room he was simply going to have to put his tail down about it.

“Why don't you show us your room, Clem?” Father suggested, and when Azirafather set him down, Clem obligingly wiggled his way back to the door he'd chosen and nosed it open for them. He coiled up beside the door and watched them peek in—Rosa giving Datura an admonishing tap so they would lower their long upper body and give her a better view—and as they did, Father said “Ah” at the same time Azirafather said “Oh!”, and Junior said: _Why does Clem have to live in the bathroom?_

 _It's very nice,_ Clem repeated—he would not, after all, hurt his fathers' feelings, especially when this new home had been all they could talk about for days now. _I'll be so comfortable when I shed. It just needs a blanket. And maybe a plant, Father?_

 _He doesn't know,_ said Rosa, not unkindly. _He's never people-shaped._ And Clem, who was not quite certain what had happened but did grasp that he had made some sort of mistake, buried his head under his coils to hide his embarrassment.

“None of that, now,” Azirafather soothed, bending to pick him up again, and Father leaned over to stroke the back of Clem's head.

“We can do a little better than this for you, spawn, that's all,” he said as he did. “Nice big window, right? Warmer than this, too. You can have a plant if you want, as long as you're not easy on it.”

 _And a carpet,_ said Angelica.

 _And you don't have to sleep on the toilet,_ said Junior—which, for some reason, Datura found very funny. Clem uncoiled a little and leaned over Azirafather's arm to look between his two siblings, puzzled, but he didn't have long to do it before his fathers were carrying him into a new room, this one painted a pretty pale blue and carpeted wall to wall. There was a bookshelf—which apparently wasn't bigger than the others, as Rosa didn't comment—and a people-shaped bed, and a people-shaped chair with all sorts of ridges and angles for climbing. But more importantly, there was a table with a terrarium on it, and a nice window overlooking a tree—with a wide ledge that looked just perfect for his basket.

“You'll like this window. You can watch the squirrels, dear.”

“Don't get any ideas about them. You'll have bits of tail stuck in your fangs for days.” Father shook his head, grimacing. “More trouble than they're worth.” He directed a significant look at Angelica as he said it—Angelica, who had always been the best hunter—and she answered with a lazy flick of her tongue as she wandered back out of the room. “Now how's this, Clem?”

 _I like it, Father,_ Clem said. Azirafather, smiling, leaned down and put him on the floor, and Clem happily unstretched the full length of himself over the plush carpet; nice and soft and just right for retaining heat. _I like it a lot._ And what a relief it was to be able to mean it, too. Guilt made his scales itch.

"That's more like it. Maybe a stand instead of some extra cushions, then? You decide where, spawn.”

 _Maybe by the chair,_ said Clem, and that reminded him— _Father, what's a toilet?_

“Right. A stand, and a talk about being people-shaped....”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [In Which Instincts Kick In, Part 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25151866) by [OlwenDylluan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlwenDylluan/pseuds/OlwenDylluan)




End file.
